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Hot chocolate with a touch of chipotle powder makes for a warm drink.

As I sit at my computer in the midst of some intense software development, I can't help but to ponder at life over my late-night beverage. To put it bluntly, I feel like a failure. I have a business under water, a growing mountain of personal debt with no income in sight (though not for lack of effort), and an ill wife.

But most of all, I feel broken, as if I were a porcelain vase smashed on unforgiving bedrock. Pieces of my façade are strewn all about and I cannot mend the fracture. This is what I have reluctantly prayed for, because it is at this point, I have nowhere to turn but to God.

I never know what to expect when I pray for God's will to be done. I couldn't have guessed how He would have answered my reluctant prayer. I look forward to what He plans to do with me.
  • Drinking: Hot chocolate with chipotle powder -- try it!
calivinguy Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2009
Interesting. See, this is some of the minute differences between you and I. Instead of finding God as the solution to the problem, I would wonder why God commanded man to take pride in his work, when this is clearly a dangerous precedent. After all, putting one's whole self into their job/business/etc. is putting all eggs into a single basket. I feel that the pain you're experiencing is not because you failed (which, in today's economy is hardly surprising, no matter how talented or business savvy you are), but because you spent so much time and effort into only one thing for the last year or so.

You need to diversify your passions, as many would diversify their portfolios. Otherwise, you might become bankrupt on both.
pikab2001 Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2009  Hobbyist Photographer
I can't even imagine the stress you are going through. My prayers are with you guys. Feel better Bonnie.
zuzi Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2009
:hug: We'll be okay. And don't feel bad cause I'm sick. I'll get better. :pills: See? That amoxicillin will get me feeling better in no time! :D
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Submitted on
March 16, 2009